well today's csm, before it i spent some time talking and running with eleen. really fun! and i was very disappointed cause running one round of nanyang track made me so tired that i can't even continue another run. and i was on the verge of dropping out all events. well i suppose participating csm gives some stress, i'll probably not participate in it next year.

csm-i'm happy with the results! although it's not exceptionally well to the others but it's good for me cause i'm not that a fast runner after all >< anyways first was 200m. it was more of a warm up for me, had fun talking to heyao and valerie before the race. but seriously i didn't feel like a race, more like pe lesson haha. and obviously the three trackers got first three places. and i got fifth out of only six people haha. but i'm quite surprised that i didn't slow down too much!

and then was 4 x 400m, the one that i'm most fearful and stressful of. cause 400m is.. madly long. and i've never sprinted/ran 400m in life. really. and it's just freaky. hmm so i was the first runner. and i went at a relaxed but relatively fast pace, and mad gaoge was running like some siao person behind me, and i knew her aim was to overtake me. and i could hear her footsteps which were super loud and fast. haha. then after that heyao overtook me too. i didn't chiong for fear of not being able to finish the run. so i just let them overtake me. and i'm glad that i managed to finish the 400m, and i must really thank one person who i haven't express my gratitude yet. and that is regine! haha random right? cause i know people were cheering for me, but i could hear one really distinct cheer. at the last bend, entering the final 100m, it was suddenly quite silent, the cheers kinda stopped, then from nowhere a super loud and distinct voice said,

"GO HILARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

haha! and it's very obvious who she is! regine of course! anyways this cheer really motivated me, cause by the last 70m or so, my legs began feeling heavy, like as if it was attracted to the track like magnets. it took just so much energy to run. and i remember recalling regine's cheer and it really motivated me. my mind told me to stop running, but remembering regine's cheer my legs just kept continuing. i don't know why. even venus (wushu senior) also found that the cheers were really important to the runners. it doesn't seem important as a 旁观者. but frankly, it's really important to the runners.

and eleen, sandra, and jiaying did really well! honestly! jiaying, i know you're kinda disappointed with the results, cause as a tracker you'll have higher expectations of yourself, but don't be sorry, cause you really did well! when you received the baton from sandra and chionged, it was really cool! cause you were running very fast! really. and eleen and sandra were good! really like to thank my relay runners!

well after it i felt rather accomplished, venus too. and we were walking back to wuguan (rooftop hall) from hci track. and we talked a lot, about csm. and we were both really happy and high. i don't know why i'm happy although our results was not really really good, but i guess it's cause i didn't expect myself to be able to run 200m, let alone 400m, especially with a freaking muscleache. so i would say it's a big accomplishment for me, a person who has really lan4 stamina.

i guess i'm really growing older. i'm running a lot slower than i used to in primary school, and people around me are getting so much faster. so i think i shall most probably just retire from running next year, and focus on academics and wushu! for the next 4 x 100m, i don't think we'll win, since there are so many classes, so many trackers, and a new plan that just came up. hmm i guess i'll just go for fun, do my best but i won't expect to receive anything.

sometimes, the power of something unimportant can make miracles.