Term 1 Week 9 is finally over gosh! Here comes the slack week hehe! :)

I guess Week 9 was the most hectic week this term. On Tuesday we had less than 24hours to re-structure our LA presentation and present to the class the very next day. On Wednesday going home at 11pm but still had to mug for 3 quizzes. Which in the end 1 got postponed the next day and the other postponed till next week. =.= Sheesh.

But in a way this hectic-ness is not THAT hectic to the point where I cannot tahan and will break down. I really want to experience this kind of hectic-ness where I'm stressing out every minute and I've so many things to do that I push myself to my limit. Come to think of it in Nanyang I've never really felt SUPER BUSY AND HIONG AND TIRED. Super as in like come to school cannot control eyelid will sleep in class, well there were occasions like that but lackerol works wonders.

And then spraining my ankle on Thursday's PE, and all the stuffs happening during Wushu that brought me to an all-time low. Fortunately my ankle is getting a lot better now and I can wear my heels without feeling any pain! Thanks all those who asked how my ankle was! Really felt the care and concern then! :D

Then practicing individuals for the first time since last year yesterday. Got a stupid blister on my thumb for doing three whole taos (only) and practicing at the side zzz. First tao was horrible like shit, felt that I had no control over the cudgel at all. Second tao was not that bad surprisingly, third one was okay-ish. Ahh oh well choosing to participate in individuals is not for winning anything, it's just for experience. I'll do my best, but I won't expect anything. After all last year in Nanyang, I have absolutely no clue if I'll continue to same cca in JC, why not give it a shot? (:

Was reading a friend's post about true friends, and realised that, I actually don't exactly have a really really close friend. Pathetic isn't it? I do have tons of friends, get well with loads of them, but it's just that I'm never ever super duper close anyone. Well maybe at some point of time I will be close, but the close-ness will never last more than a year I don't know why. I guess it's my mostly fault for not reaching out and keeping in contact despite the distance between us. And also my fault for always hiding my thoughts, emotions, feelings inside of myself, not letting anyone know what my true self is like, and this has been proven true cause I've lost a really, really close friend thanks to this characteristic of myself. I'm scared of what people will think once I say out what I really feel, which sucks big time. So most of the time I'll just end up swallowing my thoughts in, burying it in some isolate corner of my brain, letting my thoughts dissolve into some brain matter. And maybe another reason for this is cause I tend to be a more independent sort of person, someone who can settle all her stuffs and problems by herself, but you know, sometimes I just need a listening ear who won't judge me for what I feel. But the thing is even if I have a listening ear out there I still won't have the courage so say out my thoughts, hais I suck right.

Okay moving on to that super self-reflective paragraph haha, just had to talk about the A Levels results luh. Was googling a bit more about it and chanced upon this site: http://www.hwachong.edu.sg/ViewEvents.asp?EID=138 and gosh I can just die there and then. All the awards, scholarships, entrance to super pro universities. It's not that I really really want to be like them, but the fact that I look at myself and see what an awesome failure I am. Like gosh how in the world did they become so pro?!? Sorry if I sound incoherent here or no link cause I'm just overwhelmed by the zai-ness of our seniors and feeling super zibei about myself. It's like what I am currently will never bring my to that level of zai-ness I don't know why. Rawr low self-confidence.

But even so I wanna slack so badly in Week 10 CAUSE IT'S JUST SO SLACK CAREER CONFERENCE + GRACES despite blocks in what.. 3 weeks? It's like I'm this bipolar person, first I'm all gosh they are so pro I needa uber work hard but the next second, WHO CARES LUH IT'S THE SLACK WEEK BABY. See, that's how much I suck.